'Twas the night before Kharaasmas, when all through Nothing
Not an alien was stirring, not a Skulk, not a thing;
The first hive was hung in the Great Viaduct,
In hopes that some Onos soon would erupt;
The Skulks were nestled all snug in their hive,
Dreaming of Frontiersmen (and eating them alive);
A Lerk with his spines, and a Gorg with his girth,
Had just begun gestating, preparing for birth,
When suddenly Frontiersmen started to build,
So the hive spawned three Skulks; the marines soon were killed.

Away to the rafters, our Lerk flew like a bird,
And spiked a marine (who used a nasty word),
As our Gorg began waddling in search of resources,
And Skulks tore apart the Frontiersman forces.
(But no gore on the breast of marines who were dead;
Don't argue with Flayra, "No blood," he has said).
But what to the hivemind's hive sight should appear,
Eight yellow circles, marines drawing near,
They thought they were sneaky, but soon they would grieve,
'Cuz a Skulk's parasite's a friend who won't leave.
Yet onward they rushed, LMG's spouting flames,
As the Com gave them waypoints and shouted their names;

"Now, NSPlayer! Now, L33tD3wd! Now, Roxor and Llama!
On, Kill3r! On Slayor! On, Gibber and Tramma!
To the top of the Silo, to the Cargo Bay, stat,
Obey my waypoints and a Shottie you'll get."

But the newbie Com must have forgotten Team Chat
And his quickly typed orders to all were broadcast.
Under the elevators, our Gorg dropped his gift,
Stacking OCs and DCs under the lift.
While at Cargo the Skulks ripped apart the Phase Gate,
Then took down the TF; the marines were too late.
And our hive pumped out more Skulks, and so the game went...
Till the sneaky marines built a Siege in the vent.

The hive started to shake, the hive started to quiver,
And when the hive died, the Skulks started to shiver.
It seemed the marines would bring certain doom,
As the Skulks F4'd back to the old Ready Room,
But our Gorg was a smart one, he'd started a hive,
Power Silo went up; the Kharaa were alive.
They started a rebound, took back Viaduct,
Ate up the Siege (man those marines really sucked).

Pretty soon there were two hives, and of course that means Fade;
Acid bombs soon rained down on the marine's sad parade,
As our chubby old Gorg tried to put up hive three,
And the Frontiersmen got their HA and HMG.
Grenade launchers launched, jet packers packed,
Against the Kharaa the odds seemed to be stacked;
The hive took a hit, the Fades started to buckle...
And just then, from the shadows, an unearthly chuckle.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to the scene,
Charging IPs, paralyzing marines.
Fades rallied with Bile, spore clouds flew from the Lerk,
As our jolly old Onos did his jolly old work.
The marines were defeated, the Com took his last breath,
(The final Frontiersman got Babbled to death).
Team 2 had won, and our hivemind was pleased,
Nothing Station was ours, assimilated with ease,
"You've done your job well," said the hivemind, "Good style!;
Happy Kharaasmas to all. Resistance is Futile!"

BEAUTIFUL!!!

If MonsE were here right now, he'd say..

Awwwwwwww yeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.

Now this is stuff I like to see in the NS community!!! Good jab man!!!! w00t!!!!!

Good stuff.

Truly amazing... I am speechless! This deserves a sticky!

Hooray!

haha now I wanna see one where the Marines kick butt

QUOTE (KboT @ Dec 23 2002, 02:26 PM)

haha now I wanna see one where the Marines kick butt

That would be the one IN YOUR DREAMS, pitiful human!

Woo Hoo. My first sticky post.

Hope everyone has a nice Kharaasmas and a Happy New Year.

Ninja Burger that's awesome. Great work.

Nice!

O M F G!!!!

Aw hell yea.

Wow. Just...wow. How on earth did I miss this earlier? (maybe the forum was down at the time) Mind sharing plans of what's the next song you want to write such good lyrics to, or are you keeping that a secret until "when it's done"?

WoW!

Incredibly sweet, and even better when you can imagine some guy sitting in front of a fireplace with his kids all around him, speaking it with a soft reassuring voice to the same tune and tone as the popular christmas story. This was a blast, I love it, now just to see what can be done with a space marine version of something else...

Oh hey, and would that be Ninja Burger of the infamous online comic strip, or just another imposter from Samuria Burger?

omg, i just found this, my gut hurts from lauging so hard!

utter genius

Wow, i'm stunned!
It's GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!

AWESOME
That's the best post in the Fan-Fiction Forum ever

Perfect.
Just perfect.

It is truely great writing man.
Kudos.

They should include this to NS 1.1 patch so noobs will actually read the guide I want more!!!!!! MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE.

wow
*tips imaginary hat*
in-flippin-credible
spectacular, 'nuff said

QUOTE (Comprox @ Dec 23 2002, 01:25 PM)

Truly amazing... I am speechless! This deserves a sticky!

I'm noticing lack of sticky

this truly deserves one....

It was stickied since before Christmas.
This was a Christmas post, and was unstickied just awhile ago.

yeah, Comprox explained that to me...
I still say it's worth a sticky! again!

GREAT WORK! Maybe next Kharaasmas... the poem would be based on a different map. At least you didn't do one where the marines were really stupid and you just got onos and killed em fast AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE AN INFANTRY PORTAL! btw, GREAT WORK

I'm going to stand by what I said, which is basically: this peice rules, can we sticky it again?
therefore I shall *bump* to call attention to my half-hearted goals of launching the night before kharaasmas into fan-fic superstardome, which it deserves, because it's pure genius

Two words: w00t w00t

This is great man, and as a conocer of Night before Christmas alterations (even righting one myself) this is a good un.

you just found this


it's well worth it, this is an excellent peice of work

"Then out of the shadows, an unearthly chuckle...."


should do illistrations and make a childrens' book

if this came out as a childrens book I would soooooooo buy it

I bet we could get coil to do some drawings for it...

yay. lots of cute skulks in a kiddies book

heheh, I was planning on bumping this thread a couple weeks back but it did it by itself


this peice of work just kicks numerous amounts of arse...

I wonder if there is ever going to be a sequel...

This is awesome work dude, stickeh now.

the funny thing is thats what I said when I read it


it was already sticked for some time (it's a christmas post, it was sticked around that time last year)

It was good when I read it 5 months ago, it was good when I read it 2 months ago, and it's still good right now as I read it.

yeah, it was the first peice of fan-fic that I read, and it was great, and it still is

all my NS friends love it

(pjofski, you sig is to big )

NinjaBurger, NinjaBurger, the man of my dreams
he leapt the tram tearing the marine at the seams.
He clung to the ceiling in the main aft
as the rotating lift rotated peered around the corner
and let out a laugh.
This marine was alone no one at his back
he went down the elevator and NinjaBurger followed his tracks.
As soon as he bit him the marine shouted "Hax! Hax!"


Good rhyme, I didn't put any thought into mine so =P

ROFL!

dude that was good

Twas the nite before Kharaasmas,
Frontiersmen were gonna die
The Gorges would cook them,
Into Marine Pie!

The skulks came to Mobile,
The lerks decided to fly
They collected the meat,
FOR THE GREAT MARINE PIE!

The comm was scared,
They had no ammo
In came a drunk, disgruntled
YULETIDE RAMBO!

The Kharra Fled,
then Saw With Delight
The Rambo Was Helping
To Win this Dam Fight!

The mariens were dead.
The gorges were at ready
The pies were a-cooking
The marines were deady!

how about that? i like ur poem. is mine nice?

P.S. the pic is meant to be ns_bast

Arg, stop resurrecting this. Don't you guys have something better to do? Like bug MonsE?!

hmph...

eh, Monsieur is "done"

whats not to love?

Go read my story rob

Twas the nite before Kharaasmas
And all throughout Bast
The skulks were all hungry
The marines were at repast
The gorges were all grungy
The onos stamped up a blast
It just goes to show this thread is gunna last.

Christmas time is comming, and this means we need some bumpage so all the new fanficers can read this wonderfull marvel


This thread goes way back in the day

As per a new tradition I'm starting, this will be pinned till after Christmas. If I ever leave, some other mod must carry the torch.

20 days before, 10 days after, got it?

Jingle Shells, Jingle Shells, Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
a ten man HA-Train!

Stomping throught the halls
H M Gs throwing lead
Skulkie at your heels,
"you stepped on his lil head"
Servos whine and scream
The terror's at it's height
Until that Ono
came charging in
from the corridor on the right!

This thread makes me shed geeky tears of joy.