when i play on NS some games run fine but i get connection error randomly usauly at the start of a game,
il get in to the server pick a team and spawn in then the game just stops and all entities disapear from the
screen leaving just textured walls. I know this has nothing to do with my internet connection

I recently followed your FAQ guide and it said this could be something to do with gamma ramp, so i unchecked the box
entitled gamma ramp. the game ran just fine. No lag at all, ever, not that i get any anyway and no daft connection error.

However.... the problem seems to have come back again like a bad ex GF and is back to normal with me getting rather
angry. is there anything i can do to fix this apart from screem in frustration till my guts fall out.

It sounds to me like a firewall is blocking traffic. You can use the netgraph command to check and see what's getting blocked. Also, maybe you can alt-tab out of the program to see if there's a prompt waiting for you to respond with an "unblock application" or something.